Saturday, July 7, 2012
ESPAÑA SE VA A LA MIERDA................
This video is made by a good friend of mine, with all those pictures, she wants to tell us how Spain is going to the shit with the crisis and everything else. gracias xoxo...
LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
(YOU MUST READ THEM ALOUD)
ENGLISH CHINESE
That's not right Sum tin wong
Are you harboring a fugitive? Hu yu Hai ding
See me ASAP Kum Hia Nao
Stupid Man Dum Fuk
Small Horse Tai ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach? Wai Yu so Tan
I bumped into a coffee table? Ai Bang Mai Fu Kun Ni
I think you need a face lift Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here Wai so Dim
Our meeting is scheduled for next week Way Yu Kum Nao
Staying out of sight Lei Ying Lo
Great Fa Kin so Fa
Your body smell is offensive Yu stin Kin Pu
(YOU MUST READ THEM ALOUD)
ENGLISH CHINESE
That's not right Sum tin wong
Are you harboring a fugitive? Hu yu Hai ding
See me ASAP Kum Hia Nao
Stupid Man Dum Fuk
Small Horse Tai ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach? Wai Yu so Tan
I bumped into a coffee table? Ai Bang Mai Fu Kun Ni
I think you need a face lift Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here Wai so Dim
Our meeting is scheduled for next week Way Yu Kum Nao
Staying out of sight Lei Ying Lo
Great Fa Kin so Fa
Your body smell is offensive Yu stin Kin Pu
Saturday, April 30, 2011
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!!
NOW GUESTS ARE MAKING JOKES
IF YOU'RE THE CLEANING LADY AND YOU SEE THIS ONE, YOU SHIT IN YOUR PANTS
REFILLING THE MINI BAR
LOOK AT HIS MUSCLES
AND WHAT DID HE ATE???? MMMMM SPECIAL AND UNUSUAL GUESTNAMES, ONCE IN OUR HOTEL
- Mr Monopoli
- Señora Lapolla (dick)
- Mr Frankenstein
- Mr Christmas
- Señor Ten Morro (you have no shame)
- Señora Dulce Nombre de Jesus (sweet name of Jesus)
- Mr Love
- Señor Magunacaicoetxea and Señora iturriurrutietakoetxea
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.
(real city)
And If People with crazy names would marry other people with unusual names as well:
- If Kitty Carlisle married Conway Twitty, she'd be Kitty Twitty.
- If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.
- If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, then divorced him to marry Buddy Holly, she'd be Dolly Dali Holly.
- If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.
- If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.
- If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.
- If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur.
- If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.
DIOS SANTO. QUE TONTOS!!!!
OUR TOP 5 QUESTIONS:
5. Do you have a city map of Madrid??? (we are in Barcelona)
4. When we don't want to take a shower, we can pay lesser for the room??
3. Do you know on which floor I put my car in the parking? Or maybe I put my car in the garage of the apartment next door the hotel.
2. What is the password for the wireless (Internet) use?? Receptionist: Hacienda342. Guest: Where is the hacienda button???
1. Do you want this radio? I cannot use it in my country, It has only spanish channels.
5. Do you have a city map of Madrid??? (we are in Barcelona)
4. When we don't want to take a shower, we can pay lesser for the room??
3. Do you know on which floor I put my car in the parking? Or maybe I put my car in the garage of the apartment next door the hotel.
2. What is the password for the wireless (Internet) use?? Receptionist: Hacienda342. Guest: Where is the hacienda button???
1. Do you want this radio? I cannot use it in my country, It has only spanish channels.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
POLITICS FOR DUMMIES
Socialism:
You have 2 cows.
The state requires you to give 1 to your neighbor who had no cows.
Communism:
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both cows and gives you some milk.
Fascism:
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both cows and sells you some milk.
Nazism:
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both cows and shoots you in the head.
Traditional Capitalism:
You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You make more cows.
You sell the cows and make money.
Modern Capitalism:
You have 2 cows.
You sell 3 of your cows to your company opened by your brother in law to the bank.
Then execute a debt exchange involvement with associated general offer so that you already have the 4 cows back, with tax exemption for 5 cows. The milk makes your 6 cows are transferred via an intermediary to a company based in the Cayman Islands returns to sell the rights to the 7 cows to your company. The annual report says that you have 8 cows with an option for one more. You take your 9 cows and chop them in pieces. Then sell to people your 10 cows in little pieces. Curiously throughout the process, nobody seems to realize that in reality, you only have 2 cows.
Japanese Economy:
You have 2 cows. 1:10 scale redesign them and you produce twice as much milk. But you do not get rich. Then you make of the whole process a cartoon. you call it 'Vakimon' strange or not, you become a millionaire.
German economy:
You have 2 cows. Through a process of reengineering get to live 100 years, eat once a month and ordered alone. Nobody believes it has any merit.
Russian economy:
You have 2 cows.
Account them and you have 5 cows.
You recount them again and you have 257 cows
and again, you get 3 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
China's economy:
You have 2 cows.
You have 300 guys milking them.
Explain to the world your incredible ratio of milk production.
Then you Shoot a journalist who sets out to tell the truth.
Iraqi economy:
You have no cows.
Nobody believes that you don't have any cows, they put bombs on you, they invade the country and you still do not have any cows.
Swiss economy:
There are 5000000000 cows
It is obvious that one owns them but no one seems to know who he is.
French Economy:
You have 2 cows.
Then you go on strike, you organize a violent riot and you short all
highways, because you want to have 3 cows.
Spanish economy:
You have 2 cows, but you don't have any idea where they are.
But it doesn't matter: it's Friday ...
You have 2 cows.
The state requires you to give 1 to your neighbor who had no cows.
Communism:
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both cows and gives you some milk.
Fascism:
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both cows and sells you some milk.
Nazism:
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both cows and shoots you in the head.
Traditional Capitalism:
You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You make more cows.
You sell the cows and make money.
Modern Capitalism:
You have 2 cows.
You sell 3 of your cows to your company opened by your brother in law to the bank.
Then execute a debt exchange involvement with associated general offer so that you already have the 4 cows back, with tax exemption for 5 cows. The milk makes your 6 cows are transferred via an intermediary to a company based in the Cayman Islands returns to sell the rights to the 7 cows to your company. The annual report says that you have 8 cows with an option for one more. You take your 9 cows and chop them in pieces. Then sell to people your 10 cows in little pieces. Curiously throughout the process, nobody seems to realize that in reality, you only have 2 cows.
Japanese Economy:
You have 2 cows. 1:10 scale redesign them and you produce twice as much milk. But you do not get rich. Then you make of the whole process a cartoon. you call it 'Vakimon' strange or not, you become a millionaire.
German economy:
You have 2 cows. Through a process of reengineering get to live 100 years, eat once a month and ordered alone. Nobody believes it has any merit.
Russian economy:
You have 2 cows.
Account them and you have 5 cows.
You recount them again and you have 257 cows
and again, you get 3 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
China's economy:
You have 2 cows.
You have 300 guys milking them.
Explain to the world your incredible ratio of milk production.
Then you Shoot a journalist who sets out to tell the truth.
Iraqi economy:
You have no cows.
Nobody believes that you don't have any cows, they put bombs on you, they invade the country and you still do not have any cows.
Swiss economy:
There are 5000000000 cows
It is obvious that one owns them but no one seems to know who he is.
French Economy:
You have 2 cows.
Then you go on strike, you organize a violent riot and you short all
highways, because you want to have 3 cows.
Spanish economy:
You have 2 cows, but you don't have any idea where they are.
But it doesn't matter: it's Friday ...
Sunday, April 24, 2011
IS IT NORMAL?????
- That when you're a receptionist we also are a pharmacist?? Guests asking for: aspirins, ibuprofen, gelocatil, almax and omeprazole,... and when we say no, the guests are getting angry
- When you ask for a credit card as a guarantee (we are in the 21st century right???): Guests respond: I've never been asked this in any hotel
- That once a guest shit on the floor and I have to call him to say: Please, can you do your stuff in the toilet, thank you very much. The next day. the no disturb card was on the doorknob of the guest. This guy was not drunk , but once we had a chino cochino (dirty Chinese man who got really drunk and did his needs all over the room)
- that when you empty the minibar, some guests refill the little brandy or whiskey bottles with water but some other guests they refill it with urine
- That when you have to pay the hotel, you say: "I come back in 10 minutes to get some cash" but you're wife is still waiting for you in the lobby since 12 o' clock and it's already 6 o'clock p.m. (18.00). (He never came back)
- that when a guest asks for a baby bed, actually it was for his dog. He says: It is still a baby. Yeah right: we don't allow dogs, especially the ones who jumps and barks
- That the canarian guardian civil (police men) still flirts with you when there is dead body of a German man who drunk to much in the night before and drowned in the swimming pool ( 5 meters in front of you)
Friday, April 22, 2011
WEIRD HOTELS OF THE WORLD
1) THE CAPSULE HOTEL (JAPAN)
http://www.capsuleinn.com/
On your right, you see some rules. My favourite: deeply drunked
2) THE PROPELLER ISLAND CITY LODGE
(DAS KUNSTHOTEL) Berlin- Germany
http://www.propeller-island.com/english/2/5/
45 diferent art rooms, freaky.
Amazing, you feel like Alice in Wonderland
The Hobithotel (Waitomo- New Zealand)
feeling like Frodo in Lord of the rings
5) THE SALA SILVERMINE SUITE
(Sala Sweden)
http://www.salasilvergruva.se/english/accommodation/mining_suite_155_m_under_ground/
If you don't have claustrofobia.
AND TOP TERROR HOTELS ARE:
- The Stanley hotel (Colorado) : inspiration for the movie The Shining
- Chillingham Castle (Northumberland, UK): haunted castle with a couple of ghosts
- Hotel Burchianti (Florencia, Italia): haunted Hotel
- The Queen Mary (L.A.): Ghost Ship
- Crescent Hotel (Arkansas, U.S.A): was a hospital before, visit room 218 please
- The Russell Hotel (Sydney): I'm going to visit this one. maybe, .... i don't know....
- Fairmont Banff springs hotel (Bannf, Canada): another haunted hotel
- Hotel Hollywood Roosevelt (L.A.): if you sleep, you get a kiss of Marilyn Monroe
- Elvey Farm (Pluckley, Kent, U.K.): the most haunted village of England
Monday, April 18, 2011
I LOVE YOU ''BOLLYWOOD''!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(true story: Check in of a guy from India made by me)
just remember the guy from the Simpsons: Apu Nahasapeemipatilon and remember he had a strong accent, well this one,mooooreeeeee....
Lise: Buenos días...
Guest: Sorry Mam, Me do not speak spanish rather at all, Are you capable to speak English, mam. Or I speak with guy with mirror. (= glasses) (refers to my boss)
Lise: Sorry sir. Don't worry I speak perfectly english. Do you have a reservation???
Guest: no mam, you need one??
Lise: No, but we still have rooms available and the price is 86,40 € without breakfast with taxes included for each night.
Guest: only one night.
Lise: Do you have a passport please?
Guest: Why?? I only need room.
Lise: Yes, i know, I just need your name.
Guest: My name is Abhayaprada Aachman Balasubramanium
That means Best over of safety or an other name for Vishnu with an intake of a sip of Water before a yapya or Puja from the field of the heather.
But my friends call me Abhayaprada.
Lise: ???? I think it's easier if you gave me your passport.
Guest: Is there heating in the room, because I have winter in my noise but I need also window, to open it so we can put atmosphere through the room.
Lise: Don't worry sir, we have heating and windows. Do you have a creditcard sir??
Guest: Why, I pay now??
Lise: If you don't mind, because you didn't make a reservation and then we have to ask you to pay before.
Guest: You change British Pounds??
Lise: How much sir??
Guest: 20
Lise: And the rest, you pay in Euros or in Visa?
Guest: I don't know euros. I can have visa
Lise: ???? Sir: 20 British Pounds are 30 Euro, we still need 56,40 € more. If you do not have a creditcard nr, then I need 50 € more as a deposit, to garanty the extras.
Guest: I ask wife
(10 minutes later)
(Guest comes back with his wife, 3 children and one baby)
Lise: Hello again, You need an other room as well?
Guest: Why?? one is enough.
Lise: And the children?
Guest: they sleep on floor.
Lise: Sorry we cannot allow this.
Guest: ????? Why I cannot sleep in room with children and wife???
Yelling to wife: I talk she talks, why the middle middle, you talk
यह सब तुम्हारी गलती है. आप बच्चों को लाने क्यों की थी. वे मुंबई और हमारे दो गायों में चाचा राचिड साथ रह सकता है. चलो वापस चलते हैं. वे हमें यहाँ पर पसंद नहीं है. स्पेनिश लोगों जातिवाद. हैं. मैं गाँधी की तरह एक भूख हड़ताल पर जा रहा हूँ. भाड़ में जाओ तुम बार्सिलोना .....
(and guest leaves)
Lise: ???
just remember the guy from the Simpsons: Apu Nahasapeemipatilon and remember he had a strong accent, well this one,mooooreeeeee....
Guest: Sorry Mam, Me do not speak spanish rather at all, Are you capable to speak English, mam. Or I speak with guy with mirror. (= glasses) (refers to my boss)
Lise: Sorry sir. Don't worry I speak perfectly english. Do you have a reservation???
Guest: no mam, you need one??
Lise: No, but we still have rooms available and the price is 86,40 € without breakfast with taxes included for each night.
Guest: only one night.
Lise: Do you have a passport please?
Guest: Why?? I only need room.
Lise: Yes, i know, I just need your name.
Guest: My name is Abhayaprada Aachman Balasubramanium
That means Best over of safety or an other name for Vishnu with an intake of a sip of Water before a yapya or Puja from the field of the heather.
But my friends call me Abhayaprada.
Lise: ???? I think it's easier if you gave me your passport.
Guest: Is there heating in the room, because I have winter in my noise but I need also window, to open it so we can put atmosphere through the room.
Lise: Don't worry sir, we have heating and windows. Do you have a creditcard sir??
Guest: Why, I pay now??
Lise: If you don't mind, because you didn't make a reservation and then we have to ask you to pay before.
Guest: You change British Pounds??
Lise: How much sir??
Guest: 20
Lise: And the rest, you pay in Euros or in Visa?
Guest: I don't know euros. I can have visa
Lise: ???? Sir: 20 British Pounds are 30 Euro, we still need 56,40 € more. If you do not have a creditcard nr, then I need 50 € more as a deposit, to garanty the extras.
Guest: I ask wife
(10 minutes later)
(Guest comes back with his wife, 3 children and one baby)
Lise: Hello again, You need an other room as well?
Guest: Why?? one is enough.
Lise: And the children?
Guest: they sleep on floor.
Lise: Sorry we cannot allow this.
Guest: ????? Why I cannot sleep in room with children and wife???
Yelling to wife: I talk she talks, why the middle middle, you talk
यह सब तुम्हारी गलती है. आप बच्चों को लाने क्यों की थी. वे मुंबई और हमारे दो गायों में चाचा राचिड साथ रह सकता है. चलो वापस चलते हैं. वे हमें यहाँ पर पसंद नहीं है. स्पेनिश लोगों जातिवाद. हैं. मैं गाँधी की तरह एक भूख हड़ताल पर जा रहा हूँ. भाड़ में जाओ तुम बार्सिलोना .....
(and guest leaves)
Lise: ???
Sunday, April 17, 2011
ROOM SERVICE: TENJEWBERRYMUDS
To get the full effect it should be read aloud. [You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation.]
Room Service (RmSv): Morrin. Roon sirbees.
Guest: Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service.
RmSv: Rye...Roon sirbees...morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen?
Guest: Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs.
RmSv: Ow July den?
Guest: What??
RmSv: Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?
Guest: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.
RmSv: Ow July dee baykem? Crease?
Guest: Crisp will be fine.
RmSv: Hokay. An Sahn toes?
Guest: What?
RmSv: An toes. July Sahn toes?
Guest: I don't think so.
RmSv: No? Judo wan sahn toes??
Guest: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means.
RmSv: Toes! toes!... Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?
Guest: English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.
RmSv: We bodder?
Guest: No...just put the bodder on the side.
RmSv: Wad?
Guest: I mean butter... just put it on the side.
RmSv: Copy?
Guest: Excuse me?
RmSv: Copy...tea...meel?
Guest: Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all.
RmSv: One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy...rye?
Guest: Whatever you say.
RmSv: Tenjewberrymuds.
Guest: You're very welcome.
*****************************************************************************
Thursday, April 14, 2011
LEARN SPANISH GESTURES
"Cara dura"
"He/she has got a nerve" (or more literally: "How cheeky!")
How to do it: the fingers of one hand are tapped against the cheek; palm can be facing in or out.
"Hasta aquí (de harto)"
"I've had it up to here"
How to do it: the hand is raised to the temple and then quickly jerked away upwards.
"Te voy a dar"
"I'm going to get/smack you"
How to do it: the hand is held in front of the body, palm up and pointing forward, and makes a few sharp movements from right to left.
"Qué huevon/huevona"
"He/she's so sluggish and lazy"
How to do it: the hands are lowered below the waist, slightly clenched and moved up and down as if to indicate a great burden.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
WELCOME TO BARCELONA : PICKPOCKET PARADISE" I MARIUOLI"
* If somebody shows his fitnesspass to you and he says "Policia", don't believe him
* If the same person asks to show your wallet, don't do it and don't believe him neither if he wants to see your money, because he thinks you have fake money and drugs. ????
* If somebody comes up to you and yells "Birdshit, birdshit", i will clean it up for you. Don't believe him.
* If somebody drops ketchup on you, leave it on.
* If somebody drops his phone or small money, don't pick it up
* If somebody asks you if you like Ronaldinho, he's going to start to dance with you, so don't do it please.
* And if you got robbed in the metro and somebody comes back with your wallet without cash, just credit cards and identity and says he found it back. You're going to be relieved but please don't be silly and you have to realise that this man or one of his collegues just robbed you.
If you want to buy a bicycle, don't do it, They are going to steal it from you.
Only if you put off the chair and put the ABUS CHAIN 92W 65/8KS (decathlon)
QUIZ:
IF YOU SEE A GUY RUNNING IN BARCELONA, YOU THINK:
A. He's out for a jog
B. He's chasing a Bus
C. He just Robbed someone
Go to http://www.robberymaps.com if you got robbed.
Have a nice trip in Barcelona!!!!!!!
ANDAAAAAAA TRADUCCIONES SPANGLISH PARTE 2
Largo de aquí!; Long of here!
Ni leches!; No milks!
No puedo con mi alma; I can't with my soul
No te andes por las ramas; Don't walk by the branches
Matar el gusanillo; To kill the little worm
Partirse el alma; To break the soul
No tener abuela; To be grandmotherless
Llevarse al huerto a alguien; To take somebody to the vegetable garden
Estar mosca; To be fly
De Perdidos al rio: From lost to the river
Sunday, April 10, 2011
LOW COST AIRLINES, NEVER AGAIN, 1 TIME IS ENOUGH
Look at the picture because it does not surprise me that they should do this.
You know which airlines i speak of, can't say any names
My experience:
. I come with a suitcase of 16 kg (15 kg you can take), no hand luggage, I might even bring 5 kg of hand luggage, says the lady who sits at the desk: Could you please put 1 kg of your luggage to your handluggage? ????
. Is it normal, you have to wait for 15 minutes in the cold (- 10 degrees) on the stairs of the plane to get a seat?
. Is it normal that the stewards (in barcelona happened) can yell to the customers: ''if you don't like it, fly with an other company airline''
. A guy (more then 30 years) took a seat by the emergency doors. Stewardess: Excuse-me are you more then 18 years old? Are you responsible enough to save all of our customers? ????
. Every 10 minutes publicity in the plane: example: Steward: If you have an expensive watch and you want to go to the beach for a swim or to walk because you cannot use this expensive watch because it's going to be dirty or destroyed and you do not want to use it like this, so we have those watches that you can use for only a price of 120 €. ???????
. and so many more
(I put a video of one example, under this article)
Saturday, April 9, 2011
SERÁ GILI......
STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES (forrest gump)
* People asking for a sea view when the hotel is in the middle of Madrid
* Jewish people who want to have a receipt to show that they don't have to pay anymore
* Some italians when they say ''Hola'' (hello) to say goodbye
* Some people are thinking that we also have camaras in the rooms (no joke). (big brother?) (maybe from Cuba)
* A person who came to me to ask for a discount because he's roommate is snoring and he cannot sleep.
* A man who puts his drinks in the safetybox and tought it was the minibar (and complains because the fridge is not cooling, (d'uuuuh) )
* An english man who asks to get a beer in the sauna
* Man: I lift the sheet up of ''Pool(billar) doesn't work'', I put a coin in it and it doesn't work
* Woman: Can you give me back my 50 € that i put in this mailbox? I thought it was a cigarette vending machine.
* Woman: Do we have to pay for the minibar?
* Man: the cleaninglady threw my watch away. Recepcionist: Where was it? Man: in a empty pizzabox.
* Recepcionist: Sir, checkout time is at 12 o 'clock. Man: I stay here until 17 o'clock because I paid for 24 hours.
* Those People who ask for a citymap in ''german''. (Sorry, I only have them in chinese)
* People who call to our hotel and says: ''I have a missed call''. (we have 115 rooms x 2 x 50 people working = .....)
... (and so many more)
* People asking for a sea view when the hotel is in the middle of Madrid
* Jewish people who want to have a receipt to show that they don't have to pay anymore
* Some italians when they say ''Hola'' (hello) to say goodbye
* Some people are thinking that we also have camaras in the rooms (no joke). (big brother?) (maybe from Cuba)
* A person who came to me to ask for a discount because he's roommate is snoring and he cannot sleep.
* A man who puts his drinks in the safetybox and tought it was the minibar (and complains because the fridge is not cooling, (d'uuuuh) )
* An english man who asks to get a beer in the sauna
* Man: I lift the sheet up of ''Pool(billar) doesn't work'', I put a coin in it and it doesn't work
* Woman: Can you give me back my 50 € that i put in this mailbox? I thought it was a cigarette vending machine.
* Woman: Do we have to pay for the minibar?
* Man: the cleaninglady threw my watch away. Recepcionist: Where was it? Man: in a empty pizzabox.
* Recepcionist: Sir, checkout time is at 12 o 'clock. Man: I stay here until 17 o'clock because I paid for 24 hours.
* Those People who ask for a citymap in ''german''. (Sorry, I only have them in chinese)
* People who call to our hotel and says: ''I have a missed call''. (we have 115 rooms x 2 x 50 people working = .....)
... (and so many more)
Friday, April 8, 2011
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS?
If you exceed the border of North Korea illegally, you get locked for 12 years in a labor camp.
If you exceed the border of Iran illegally,you get held for an indefinite period
If you exceed the border of Afghanistan illegally, you get shot.
If you exceed the border of Saudi Arabia illegal you will be locked up.
If you exceed the border of China illegal they won't hear about you anymore.
If you exceed the border illegal of Venezuela, you will be branded as a spy and your fate is sealed.
If you exceed the border of Cuba illegal, the will throw you in a polital prison until you rot.
IF YOU EXCEED THE BORDER OF BELGIUM ILLEGAL THEN YOU GET:
* A JOB,
* A DRIVER LICENSE,
* SOCIAL SECURITY CARD,
* ASSISTANCE,
* A CREDIT CARD,
* RENT ASSISTANCE OR LOAN TO BUY A HOME
* FREE EDUCATION
* FREE HEALTHCARE
* BILLIONS OF EURO'S VALUE FOR PRINTING OF DOCUMENTS AND BROCHURES IN YOUR OWN LANGUAGE, AND
THE RIGHT TO USE THE FLAG OF YOUR COUNTRY DURING A PROTEST BECAUSE YOU FIND THAT THEY DIDN'T GIVE YOU ENOUGH RESPECT.
??????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
If you exceed the border of Iran illegally,you get held for an indefinite period
If you exceed the border of Afghanistan illegally, you get shot.
If you exceed the border of Saudi Arabia illegal you will be locked up.
If you exceed the border of China illegal they won't hear about you anymore.
If you exceed the border illegal of Venezuela, you will be branded as a spy and your fate is sealed.
If you exceed the border of Cuba illegal, the will throw you in a polital prison until you rot.
IF YOU EXCEED THE BORDER OF BELGIUM ILLEGAL THEN YOU GET:
* A JOB,
* A DRIVER LICENSE,
* SOCIAL SECURITY CARD,
* ASSISTANCE,
* A CREDIT CARD,
* RENT ASSISTANCE OR LOAN TO BUY A HOME
* FREE EDUCATION
* FREE HEALTHCARE
* BILLIONS OF EURO'S VALUE FOR PRINTING OF DOCUMENTS AND BROCHURES IN YOUR OWN LANGUAGE, AND
THE RIGHT TO USE THE FLAG OF YOUR COUNTRY DURING A PROTEST BECAUSE YOU FIND THAT THEY DIDN'T GIVE YOU ENOUGH RESPECT.
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ANDAAAAAAA TRADUCCIONES SPANGLISH PARTE 1
Montar un pollo; To mount a chicken
No dar pie con bola; Do Not give a foot with ball
No te cortes; Don't cut yourself
Mear fuera de tiesto; To piss outside the pot
Pan comido; Eaten bread
Más mosqueado que un pavo en Nochebuena; As full of flies as a turkey in Christmas night
Mucho ojo!; A lot of eye!
Lo mismo me da que me da lo mismo; It gives me the same than the same it gives me
Mandamás; Order more
Estar a dos velas; To be at 2 candles
No dar pie con bola; Do Not give a foot with ball
No te cortes; Don't cut yourself
Mear fuera de tiesto; To piss outside the pot
Pan comido; Eaten bread
Más mosqueado que un pavo en Nochebuena; As full of flies as a turkey in Christmas night
Mucho ojo!; A lot of eye!
Lo mismo me da que me da lo mismo; It gives me the same than the same it gives me
Mandamás; Order more
Estar a dos velas; To be at 2 candles
SILLY PEOPLE
* once in a hotel in Mallorca: My collegue made check in to a couple from Tsjechië and when they went to the room they saw a mouse, the wife was scared, she and her husband spoke a little bit of english and didn't know the word for rat. So the husband called and said: Hello, do you know Tom and Jerry? Well, Jerry is in my room.
* Dutch woman came to me (in spain): Wow, You speak dutch, where did you learn the language? I said: I'm from Belgium. Woman: realy, do they speak as well Dutch?
Come on Holland
* Dutch woman came to me (in spain): Wow, You speak dutch, where did you learn the language? I said: I'm from Belgium. Woman: realy, do they speak as well Dutch?
Come on Holland
Thursday, April 7, 2011
THOSE AWKWARD MOMENTS
* that awkward moment when once i worked in a hotel in fuerteventura, passing by the swimmingpool and saw on the balcony 3 germans of more less 65 years old doing a threesome with a videocamera recording it, one said: oh hello, you want to join us? (I said on a friendly way, no)
* that awkward moment when once a woman couldn't open her safe, I went up to open it. she said: ooooh, my babies . (there were 5 dildo's in the safetybox)
* that awkward moment when once a woman couldn't open her safe, I went up to open it. she said: ooooh, my babies . (there were 5 dildo's in the safetybox)
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